


i know, i know

by pensiveVisionary (hamburr)



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Multi, Pregnancy, Trans Alexander Hamilton, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-19
Updated: 2016-07-19
Packaged: 2018-07-25 08:39:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7525942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hamburr/pseuds/pensiveVisionary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aaron is pretty observant; he can tell there's something up with his husband.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i know, i know

**Author's Note:**

> sorry for the GIANT RELATIONSHIP TAG especially when the relationships that aren't aaron/alex and kind of alex/john aren't really focused on
> 
> but if anyone is curious, aaron and alex are married and in a romantic relationship; hercules, john, and alex have a mostly-sexual thing (herc is aro); and lafayette is aro/ace but is in a queerplatonic relationship with herc, john, and alex. aaron isn't poly but doesn't mind sharing his husband :P

You have always paid a lot of attention to body language. You were a painfully awkward child, too shy to have many friends. You didn't speak a lot; instead, you listened, and paid attention. You watched how the popular kids carried themselves, how they reacted to the people they talked to.

Even having outgrown that awkward shy phase, you still people-watch out of habit. You've known Alexander Hamilton for close to six years now; you've been dating for five, and married for nearly two. You've seen him go from a skinny, anxious, loudmouthed nineteen year old to-- well, to be completely honest, a very similar twenty-five year old. But at least, as he graduated and found a steady job, he's not so painfully bony anymore. You push your hands up his shirt when he kisses you, run your hands over the soft lines of his torso, help him out of his binder and press kisses over his body.

You can't take your eyes off of Alexander. He is constantly burning with energy, filled with passion, always moving. Not only that, but he is disarmingly attractive, especially when he's in those almost-manic spurts of energy, talking enthusiastically or writing enthusiastically or doing whatever it is he does. You found him frustrating for a time; now the very things you found frustrating frustrate you in a completely different--and much better--way.

  


You are lying on the couch, reading, with Alexander sitting on the other end of the couch, typing madly on his phone. Probably texting John, or Hercules, or Lafayette, you suppose, and don't pay much mind. Then he springs to his feet. You glance up as he overbalances slightly, but he recovers almost immediately and beams at you. You are glad to see him smiling; he has recently gotten over some awful flu bug that laid him out for like a week. He's still finicky about what he eats.

"John and Hercules are coming over!" he says.  
"Thanks for the warning, I'll go hide at their apartment with Lafayette until you three are finished," you say, tucking a bookmark into your book, and Alexander laughs. You smile back and get to your feet, pull him into your arms and kiss him gently.  
"You don't have to leave," he says, wrapping his arms around you and kissing your temple.  
"I don't think any of you are capable of having sex quietly," you point out. "And it's not like I'm going to join you all. Besides, I haven't seen Laf in a while. It'll be nice to hang out with him."  
Alex kisses your head again.  
"You're a saint, Aaron."  
"Yeah, don't you forget it."  
You kiss him and go get your shoes and coat.

  


You've been known to notice that Alexander is getting sick before he does, half because he forgets that he has physical limitations, and half because you pay a lot of attention to that man. As follows with that pattern, you notice how Alexander comes home looking more drained than he used to after work, how he moves like his back is bothering him, how he whines that his feet and ankles hurt when he has to be on his feet for any extended amount of time. He seems just a little off-balance, looking momentarily confused when he lands awkwardly when he leaps to his feet abruptly like he is so prone to doing.

The most odd of these new behaviors--behaviors he doesn't even seem to notice he's doing at all--is in moments where he is quiet, lost in thought, his guard down, when he thinks no one is observing, his hand drifts to rest on his stomach and his expression will change to something you can't read. One time you said "hey" to him when he was lost in that odd sort of reverie, and he startled, immediately shifted his position and made his hands occupied elsewhere.

This gets some suspicions floating around your head that you really, really hope are inaccurate.

You pretend not to notice for close to a month, figuring that he would come to you if your suspicions were correct, but you catch him spending extra time in front of a mirror, fussing with his shirts, how they seem to pull just fractionally tighter across his stomach. You keep thinking back to that goddamn flu he had, how it hadn't even actually seemed like a normal flu. How characters in every goddamn book where pregnancy comes up makes that exact same misdiagnosis.

You call John Laurens, who is a doctor, when Alexander comes home and declares he is taking a nap. Alexander looks exhausted, with an edge of anxiety.  
You have never seen that man take a nap without practically being forced to in the entire time you've known him.  
"John, I need you to come over. Don't tell Alexander I'm saying this, but I think we have a bit of a crisis on our hands."  
"A crisis? Dude. You're gonna have to be more specific. On a scale of one to ten, how concerned should I be?"  
"I dunno, where does a pregnancy scare rank on that scale?"

There is a beat of silence, then John says, "I'll be there in five."  
"Bring Hercules and Lafayette."  
"Okay. See you soon."  
"Bye."

They arrive promptly, and the four of you sit on the couch.  
"Tell me everything," says John, and the three of them sit quietly as you pour out every observation you can remember.  
They are all quiet for a long time.  
"Goddamn," Lafayette finally says, and then you all fall silent when you hear the bedroom door open.

Alexander wanders into the living room and stops short when he sees the four of you sitting on the couch, dead silent and all looking at him.  
"What is this?" he asks. "What are you all planning? And why are you staring at me like that? Is there something on my shirt?" He glances down, tugs at the hem of his shirt and frowns at it, then looks up at you, still frowning.  
"Alex, man, I've never seen you voluntarily take a nap in the entire time I've known you. What's going on?" says John.  
"It was a long day. Is that what all this is about? Do you think I'm sick? Because, you guys. I'm fine. Seriously."  
He tries to catch your glance, but you can't meet his eyes. You lace your fingers together to disguise the fact that your hands are shaking.  
"C'mere and cuddle," John says, saving you again, and Alexander crosses the room, cautious, a suspicious look on his face. He freezes just before he goes to sit down, his eyes widen, he presses his hand against his stomach-- not in pain, but something more like confusion. Your heart drops as he looks at you, undisguised horror plain on his face for a fleeting moment. Then he shakes his head, sits down between you and John. He pastes an unconvincing smile on his face, trying to play it off. You can feel him shaking, and you wrap your arm around his shoulders.

"Alexander," John says. "What happened?"  
Alexander shakes his head, closes his eyes and pushes his face against your shoulder. You stroke his hair, hold him closer.  
"I'm not-- I can't be," he says, and his voice breaks. "I _can't_."  
"Love," you start to say, but he shakes his head.  
"How long have you-- when did you figure it out, Aaron?" he says, looking up at you, and you exhale shakily.  
"A while ago," you admit. "I just-- I thought you were waiting to tell me, or something, and I didn't want to pressure you."  
"What about...?" He glances around to indicate Lafayette, Hercules, and John.  
"I called them today," you admit.  
"I told you I was fine, just tired," he protests, futilely.  
"I'm glad he called," Hercules says, speaking for the first time since you dropped the suspicions you were having. "If you weren't going to tell us, I'm glad he did."  
"I wasn't-- not going to," he protests, but it holds no weight, as he in fact had not told any of you. "I just-- I-- _fuck_ ," he says. "I didn't even want to admit it to myself. I--" He breaks off, fighting back tears. "I felt-- _it_ \--move for the-- for the first time earlier today and it just happened again and I wanted to try and process what the fuck I was going to do and that's why I went to bed and I didn't know you'd figured it out because I didn't even think it was particularly apparent--"  
"It's not," you assure him quickly, "I just spend an inordinate amount of time looking at you because you're beautiful."  
He gives an unsteady laugh and fumbles for your free hand, takes it in both of his, just to have something to hold onto.

"What the fuck am I going to do?" he asks softly. "I-- how the fuck could I-- I can't disappear off the face of the earth for nine--or however many months are left, I guess, and-- but-- how-- how could I just-- get rid of it?"  
You thread your fingers through his hair and kiss the top of his head.  
"You don't have to decide right now," you murmur.  
"Sure, but I'll have to decide soon," he protests.  
"Just be here with us," Lafayette says, placing his hand on top of where yours and Alexander's are resting on your thigh. "We can all get through this together."  
Alexander bites his lip, his eyebrows furrowing together, but he nods.  
"We've got this," Hercules says.  
"It's gonna be okay," John puts in.  
"I love you," you say, and Alexander presses closer to you.  
"I love you too," he murmurs.

The five of you sleep tangled up in your and Alexander's bed, resolving to handle whatever else needs handling in the morning.

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this in a couple hours, it just kind of... came out of nowhere?? idek if my facts are accurate but shrugs hopefully they're not glaringly inaccurate lmao
> 
> comments and kudos are much appreciated!!  
> i'm also working on a longer fic that is about 0% related to this one except that it's also hamburr, so keep an eye out if you're interested! c:


End file.
